Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize