quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize