There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize