HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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