Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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