I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize