I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
