nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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