Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
