Non-Jews are for practice
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
