Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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