Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
