I want to walk on stilts...naked
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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