You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This baby is an asshole
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
