the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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