Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Randomize
