guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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