its not stalking. its research.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
