i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
