I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this boner is exhausting
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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