You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
