I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
