soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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