He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
