We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
