It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
