I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
pray to the hookup gods
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
