do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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