i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize