Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
