can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
