I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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