that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
