dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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