I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
