so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
