My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
