I bet he comes in French.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
