I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
