i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
