Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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