His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
