dude i'm inner monologue high
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
