New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize