His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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