Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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