Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
