Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize