i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
