he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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