There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
