She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
