i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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