I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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