in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize