I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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