Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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