Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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