Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
