If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
