Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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