I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
