that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
