That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
