This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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