But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize