I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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