ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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