i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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