How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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